Say, what month is it? Why it’s Booktober, of course! November is for the moustachioed and bearded people, but Booktober is our month, the month of the book nerds! (Bearded and moustachioed book nerds feel free to join in on the fun) Is it technically the middle of the week? Yes! Did Booktober technically start three days ago? Yes! Will that stop me from revelling in my Booktober joy? NEVER!

To kick off Booktober I present: The Ten Commandments of Book-ness.

1. Thou shalt return all books that thou hast borrowed
The amount of times I’ve thought “Oh I really want to read that book…” only to realise not only did I lend it to someone who never gave it back, but they then also left the country, is ridiculously high. Don’t be a jerk; return books you borrowed. Especially library books.

2. Thou shalt not leave books open and face-down
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!? This one, right here is the root of all evil. There is a special place in whatever form of eternal punishment you believe in, reserved for people who do this. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! THIS IS GENUINE, NON-SARCASTIC OUTRAGE.

3. Thou shalt not dog-ear, write in, or generally deface other people’s books
Please refer to commandment number 2

4. Thou shalt not post or talk about spoilers without clear and obvious warning beforehand
How do you think I found out about the MAJOR SPOILERS at the end of Allegiant? Yep, Tumblr. Don’t be that person, use spoiler warnings. This also applies to TV shows. *Accusatory glare*

5. Thou shalt read the book before seeing the movie
Yes, on *some* occasions, the movie is better, but movies completely skew your mental image of characters and places when you’re reading. If you read the book first, then when you see the movie, you can sniff in indignation every time anything is different to how you imagined it, and explain loudly how a certain event ACTUALLY was. You can do this, see, because you read the book. Plus, when the movie is over, you can loudly proclaim “THE BOOK WAS BETTER” if/ when necessary.

6. Thou shalt not mock other people’s fandoms/tastes
This is less of a nerd rant vehicle for me, and more of a general rule of common decency. I don’t care if someone likes Twilight, or My Little Pony (even though that doesn’t really count as a book) or anything else that conflicts with your tastes, if it makes them happy, it’s nobody else’s business to criticize them for it.

7. Thou shalt be wholly unashamed of thine tastes
Similarly, if you like books that other people make fun of you for, forget them and revel in the happiness you get from these books. [Substitute other forms of entertainment-based media where appropriate]

8. Thou shalt recommend books to others
Even if the book in question is your favourite and you don’t want anyone else to have it because it’s yours.

9. Thou shalt read widely
Don’t limit yourself to just one genre; get out see the –literary- world! There are so many amazing books out there; don’t read within just one type. Explore! Be free!

10. Thou shalt cry unashamedly when reading sad books. (Especially The Fault in our Stars)
There is absolutely no shame in crying. There is especially no shame in crying when reading a sad book. There is EVEN LESS SHAME in crying while reading a book written by a heart-crusher such as JOHN EVIL GREEN. (Okay, so maybe that’s not his middle name)

And one more for good measure:

ExtraBonusNumber11. Thou shalt not waste thine time reading crap books
In the words of my mother: “Life is too short to spend it reading crap books”

And that’s it! Go forth and read!

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